so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
third nipple confirmed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
