She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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