I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
