No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
