remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
