I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
