wat bout pragnant strippers??
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
