you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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