we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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