The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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