I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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