I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
