it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
