so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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