Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
