I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
