Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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