just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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