Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
