Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
