We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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