make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
