and i looked up. we had an audience...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
