she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
