It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
