Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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