That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
