when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is the high leading the old right now
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
