Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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