Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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