whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
