bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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