their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
