This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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