soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
nutella sex= disaster
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
