dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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