So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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