My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
