it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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