can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
