Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
