The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
