Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
