Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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