I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
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