What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
