I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
