This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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