Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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