hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
