Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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