First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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